Lessons from Julie

When I started dating the woman who is now my wife, it was just a touch scandalous.

This was almost twenty-five years ago, and we were both working at a magazine – Entertainment Weekly – but on different sides of the publishing fence. Julie was on the business side selling ads, and I was on the editorial side writing articles. Church and state. Art and commerce.

Okay, maybe art is a strong word for my round-table Q&A with the cast of Melrose Place. But still. It was something and commerce.

Remember, this was back when there was still a so-called “Chinese wall” between advertising and editorial. Nowadays, as publishing struggles to figure out new business models, the wall is more like a screen door with a busted hinge.

But back then, our relationship was enough to raise eyebrows. When Julie told her boss, he said, “That’s great. So which one of you is quitting?” He was kidding. Mostly.

There are many reasons I’m glad our Montague-Capulet romance survived (e.g., our three kids, the fact that I now know what sconces are). But one big reason I’m glad we got married is that she’s taught me how to be a better businessperson. I mean, I’m still not great. But I’m bit better.

So I thought I’d thank Julie publicly on this Substack and list three of her lessons that I try to follow (sometimes successfully).

1. When negotiating, silence is your best friend.

I’m a nervous natterer. I have a natural tendency to fill the vacuum with overexplanations and justifications and apologies. Julie has taught me to embrace the silence.

Keep it short, sweet, confident and declarative. For instance, she’ll quote a client a price of $150. They’ll counter with $50. She’ll respond, “The best I can do is $100.”

Then she’ll wait. Let the silence settle in. Luxuriate in the awkwardness. It’s much more powerful than non-stop chatter.

2. When selling, it’s just as important to listen as it is to talk.

Julie is president of Watson Adventures, which runs highbrow scavenger hunts in historic neighborhoods and museums. (Check them out. I’m being totally objective when I say it’s a fantastic company).

Many of her clients are businesses looking for a team-building experience.

In the initial meeting, Julie starts by asking what the company wants to accomplish in an event. She listens for buzzwords. She takes notes.

Then, when she writes a proposal, she mirrors a lot of her client’s language. It’s a winning strategy. Either clients are impressed that she listened. Or, if they forgot they told her, which is often the case, they’re astounded by how closely her vision aligns with theirs. A miracle!

3. Keep in touch

At the start of her career, Julie was working at an ad agency but loved magazines. She finally got an informational interview with one of the publishers of Entertainment Weekly. At the end of their chat, he told her, “We don’t have any openings, but keep in touch.”

So she did. She wrote him a note congratulating him on the magazine’s award. She sent him an email when she read a relevant article.

A few months later, he hired her. He said he was pleasantly surprised by her persistence. She said, “You told me to keep in touch. So I did. Is that so weird?”

All this is not to mention how brilliantly organized Julie is, which helps her be a better businessperson. Let me put it this way: She has a color-coded sticker system for arranging her Real Simple magazines.

So I guess I’m saying thanks for marrying me, Julie. Keep in touch!

NOTE: I wrote a version of this post a few years ago for LinkedIn. But I don’t think a ton of people read it. My weekly essays will usually be 100 percent new material, but occasionally, if I think it’s relevant, I’ll delve into my archives and adapt something I wrote a while back. I figured this one about Julie was worth resurrecting.