As usual, your insights are giggle inducing, eyebrow raising, and thought provoking. Old musicals can be delightful or a bit creepy. Some days we would love it if people around us burst into song but other days not so much.
I really like how you decided to be honest about the possibility of your memory being inaccurate instead of clenching your recollection tightly in your fist and refusing to open up and face the reality that your recollection is at best incomplete and at worst skewed. Thank you for your example!
Living life and being affected by our experiences means we wake up each day a changed person. Thus our own perspective changes and our perspective is unique from that of other people's because we see life out of our own eyes. No wonder our memories are fallible.
I remember talking with a counselor about parts of ourselves. We often say things like, ' the responsible part of me' or 'the bad part of me'... We each have multifaceted personalities and because of things that happen to us we sometimes let one 'part' of us take charge for whatever reason. Because of that, other parts are inhibited or restricted. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's bad. (There is a great original Star Trek episode that showed what happened when one aspect of Captain Kirk's personality took over) I think to be happy and mentally well we need to acknowledge each of our 'parts' and the role they play in our life story but we need to choose which one we want to take center stage and bring all the parts into one complete whole. (Kind of like the blissful higher state of our memories being the same as our spouse's 😊)
Thank you, AJ. This is one of my favorite pieces I've read of yours. I loved the entire post, and hope you will continue to post life lessons from classic movies.
Regarding Lili (which I found to be profoundly disturbing, since the "hero" is quite disturbed), those different facets of our personalities are called "ego states". They are different from Multiple Personalities (I worked with that client base for 20+ years). There is even a form of therapy now that focuses on those ego states.
Anyway, thanks again. You continue to add joy to my life.
My husband’s memory for numbers is photographic- he can remember a water meter reading we had 5 years ago. But has he rewatched movies and reread books thinking he’s enjoying them for the first time? Absolutely. (I’m the bad guy who has to break it to him.) He’s taking this lack of memory in stride, saying lucky him that he can feel that first time joy all over again. Accept and adjust!
How funny, I had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile yesterday and while we weren't inspired by old movies we did touch upon a couple of the same themes. I would like to see laws that prohibit the naming of public infrastructure after people who are politically, or economically powerful (that should include using public money to erect statues). Their legacies so often don't age well and it becomes the burden of future generations to grapple with flawed humans who were revered in the past. Today's "great" is too often tomorrow's "cringe".
We also talked about how nearly everyone I've ever met is trying to be a better version of themselves. We join gyms, make resolutions, and read self-help books because we truly believe we can change oursleves. Despite that, we fall into the trap of thinking that others can or want to be better versions of themselves. No one is a two dimensional snapshot of their best or worst choice; we contain multitudes and could benefit from affording others the grace to aspire to be better.
Hi Emily -- that's so interesting! I often think of how complicated it is to name things after people, since we're all so flawed. I live in New York. The Duke of York -- not a super guy! I think trees and waterways (Oak Valley, Lakeview) are the way to go. Maybe naming stuff for delicious foods? Anyway, thanks for the comment and for giving people grace.
where to start, where to start??? Kurosawa's Red Beard? Fellini's La Strada? You've given me a project. But really, the first thing i recall is having watched all three of these films with my mom when I was a teenager. I enjoyed them but my mom LOVED them. Can't say I took those life lessons from them, but maybe. But since I, literally, just referenced a scene from Roadhouse on another substack I was reading and, since the link is still on my clipboard, here's Patrick Swayze's "Be Nice" life lesson: https://youtu.be/O8aNfg0LBgQ?si=fCF1m3q8D-c_90Yj&t=96
As usual, your insights are giggle inducing, eyebrow raising, and thought provoking. Old musicals can be delightful or a bit creepy. Some days we would love it if people around us burst into song but other days not so much.
I really like how you decided to be honest about the possibility of your memory being inaccurate instead of clenching your recollection tightly in your fist and refusing to open up and face the reality that your recollection is at best incomplete and at worst skewed. Thank you for your example!
Living life and being affected by our experiences means we wake up each day a changed person. Thus our own perspective changes and our perspective is unique from that of other people's because we see life out of our own eyes. No wonder our memories are fallible.
I remember talking with a counselor about parts of ourselves. We often say things like, ' the responsible part of me' or 'the bad part of me'... We each have multifaceted personalities and because of things that happen to us we sometimes let one 'part' of us take charge for whatever reason. Because of that, other parts are inhibited or restricted. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's bad. (There is a great original Star Trek episode that showed what happened when one aspect of Captain Kirk's personality took over) I think to be happy and mentally well we need to acknowledge each of our 'parts' and the role they play in our life story but we need to choose which one we want to take center stage and bring all the parts into one complete whole. (Kind of like the blissful higher state of our memories being the same as our spouse's 😊)
Thanks A. J. !
Thank you, AJ. This is one of my favorite pieces I've read of yours. I loved the entire post, and hope you will continue to post life lessons from classic movies.
Regarding Lili (which I found to be profoundly disturbing, since the "hero" is quite disturbed), those different facets of our personalities are called "ego states". They are different from Multiple Personalities (I worked with that client base for 20+ years). There is even a form of therapy now that focuses on those ego states.
Anyway, thanks again. You continue to add joy to my life.
My husband’s memory for numbers is photographic- he can remember a water meter reading we had 5 years ago. But has he rewatched movies and reread books thinking he’s enjoying them for the first time? Absolutely. (I’m the bad guy who has to break it to him.) He’s taking this lack of memory in stride, saying lucky him that he can feel that first time joy all over again. Accept and adjust!
Dr. Huxtable was a good man. Bill Cosby was not. People forget actors are not the same as the person.
Be Kind. We're all dealing with our own crap.
So true.
Though I wasn’t ever planning to do any of these things, these movies provided memorable life lessons:
1. Scared Straight. Don't do crimes.
2. Midnight Express: Especially don't do the crime of illegal drugs in foreign countries.
3. Fatal Attraction: Don't have affairs.
Excellent lessons! Hard to argue with them
How funny, I had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile yesterday and while we weren't inspired by old movies we did touch upon a couple of the same themes. I would like to see laws that prohibit the naming of public infrastructure after people who are politically, or economically powerful (that should include using public money to erect statues). Their legacies so often don't age well and it becomes the burden of future generations to grapple with flawed humans who were revered in the past. Today's "great" is too often tomorrow's "cringe".
We also talked about how nearly everyone I've ever met is trying to be a better version of themselves. We join gyms, make resolutions, and read self-help books because we truly believe we can change oursleves. Despite that, we fall into the trap of thinking that others can or want to be better versions of themselves. No one is a two dimensional snapshot of their best or worst choice; we contain multitudes and could benefit from affording others the grace to aspire to be better.
Hi Emily -- that's so interesting! I often think of how complicated it is to name things after people, since we're all so flawed. I live in New York. The Duke of York -- not a super guy! I think trees and waterways (Oak Valley, Lakeview) are the way to go. Maybe naming stuff for delicious foods? Anyway, thanks for the comment and for giving people grace.
where to start, where to start??? Kurosawa's Red Beard? Fellini's La Strada? You've given me a project. But really, the first thing i recall is having watched all three of these films with my mom when I was a teenager. I enjoyed them but my mom LOVED them. Can't say I took those life lessons from them, but maybe. But since I, literally, just referenced a scene from Roadhouse on another substack I was reading and, since the link is still on my clipboard, here's Patrick Swayze's "Be Nice" life lesson: https://youtu.be/O8aNfg0LBgQ?si=fCF1m3q8D-c_90Yj&t=96
Love it. He's like the Buddha!
I love Roadhouse and Patrick Swayze's Be Nice lesson.